Day Eighteen: So close, and yet so far away...

So I'm finally in the same work week that will be my 21 days. This has hands down been my most challenging day thus far. My foster kids saw their mom on Friday and the baby has cried a ton this weekend. Don't know if it's from the visit or because she doesn't feel good. I was also just really stressed out because of how much work I had to get done (which is hard to do when someone is crying). So the whole thing just digressed into a big crying  meltdown. Brannon verbalized exactly how I felt as we were trying to get all five into bed, "If there were ever a time when I was going to just go get a Braum's Mix, or two even, or a Candy Bar Sundae, this would be it."

Of course you've all probably heard the phrase comfort food, but it's revealing to see how much that's actually true. I think I would have been able to hold it together so much better today if I could have just eaten the spaghetti and meatballs I made for my kids. It really sounds stupid when you see it in black and white, but food has an inappropriate hold on my psyche. The relationship I have with it is out of order.

I think most people would be quick to dismiss food as being an idol. But when I really stop and look at how it has affected me over time, I think it would be hard to just sweep it under the rug. I wonder if any of you have come to any similar realizations. Is food's place in the ranking of importance in your life in the spot you want it to be?

Today, I will pray for you. But honestly, mostly I've been praying for me. Praying for emotional strength that I do not have. For the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in how I treat my family. For this fast to actually reach the status of worship plan and simple, even when that worship causes me to identify other things that I worship more than I realize.