2 Corinthians 4

My friend John has inspired me to continue my fast for 40 days. My tiny friend Carrie is doing 31. And she wasn't ashamed to share with us that it's not exactly delightful. The fasting is hard. Even the "wuss" Daniel fast. (Don't knock it 'til you try it.) But what I think Carrie meant is, and what I've found to be true too, what's harder is the earnest prayer.

Most of the time, I pray pretty general prayers about being who God made me to be, God leading my leaders, God blessing my family, God's will be done, etc. But this time, I've been praying for something really specific. And although I've seen bright flashes of hope, my faith staggers at its scope. I thought my general prayers were super faithy because I was trusting in whatever God's outcome might be. But with this, even though I believe that the outcome I'm asking for is His will, I still feel like I'm really laying myself on the line.

So, when I was sitting at my desk yesterday thinking about how Carrie must feel, the weight of it all just overwhelmed me. And it immediately made me think of this amazing passage. If you haven't already read 2 Corinthians 4, stop and do it right now.

Right off the bat, verse 2 confronts me. I have tricks up my sleeve. I could resort to underhanded methods to try to influence my situation to get the result I want. But what if God has something better in store. Do I really think I can handle this better than God? What if this isn't His idea for me at all?

The second most awesome part is verses 5-7. I think sometimes I wish the light shining out of me was a "Everyone Look at Me!!" flashing Vegas signboard. But the only thing in me that's shiny at all is the glory of God. The real me is a common clay pot. The fact that God is willing to set up house within me is simply stunning. The most priceless treasure in the world in a fragile, finite, mortal jar. But the icing on the cake of this powerhouse passage, and a personal fave, is verses 8 and 9.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed.

So even though this is how I feel, and have felt on and off for over a year, I believe therefore I speak. I believe that God is in complete control of my situation. I believe that the power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me. I believe that God is moving on my behalf even though I can't see it, just like he was for Daniel during his 21 day delay. I believe that the outcome that God has for me will wildly surpass what I'm asking Him for. I believe that Carrie's prayer will be answered. I believe that John will see God in a never-before-seen way. I believe that my friends' families will be restored and revitalized. I believe God will heal their loved one's bodies, even from the grips of cancer. I believe that the Lord will pour out His Spirit on my leaders and open their eyes to the same visions He has shown me. I believe...

therefore I do not lose heart. Though outwardly I am wasting away, yet inwardly I am being renewed day by day. For my light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So I fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.